The Unseen Struggles: Love and relationships for Women Living with Disabilities

BY: MOLLY KAMAKUNE

In the heart of Kitumba, Central Division Fort Portal City lies a 28-year-old autistic woman Irene Karungi whose story and that of other women often go unheard.

Karungi is a woman living with disability, navigating the complex world of love and relationships. Her journey is marked by perseverance, heartbreak, and, hope.

She was born with it and according to scientists, her disability is based on a neurodevelopmental (brain-related) disorder that occurs when brain development is impaired by several structural and functional abnormalities.

Navigating love and hope

She says because of her disability for the past ten years when she turned 18 years and to date it is still hard for her to get herself a man who will propose to her official marriage. She said from her side she is willing to make a family.

“I have presented myself in the faces of the earth to be dated for the last 10 years but unfortunately no man has ever approached me, and this is stressing me,”

In past years, village elders never told her that men would discriminate against her because of her disability, but now she finds herself patiently waiting, even as she begins to lose hope. Despite the challenges, Karungi has always dreamed of finding love and building a family.

She said despite the challenge, she grew up with dreams of finding love and building a family of her own. However, about two years ago, her sibling who is on the run, impregnated her and now she has a 2-year-old baby.

Ndagano journey of challenges and resilience

Edith Ndagano, 39, is deaf and dumb and a mother of three kids a resident of Bulyanyenje, Nyabukara Fort Portal, says all her three children each have a different father, despite her trying to get married to one child in vain.

She said at 15 years old, she quickly fell in love, but her husband did not respect her even moving with her in public, and that all the time he was always distant from her.

“I have tried marriage twice, I went into my first marriage when I was 15 years but people don’t value or respect us [PWD] the fact that we are disadvantaged but we need to be loved, my husband couldn’t even move with me in public I think he would feel ashamed to have me as a wife,”

She added, “People think it’s easy to move on,” Ndagano says, her voice trembling. “But when you are abandoned because of something you have no control over, it breaks you. It makes you question your worth,”

Ndagano lost her hearing and speech at age 6, dropping out of school in primary three despite efforts by her parents to seek treatment.

Bridging communication

Her daughter, Marion, 13, learned sign language from age three to communicate effectively with her mother.

Marion, 13 years old, insists she does not have a disability and communicates well with her mother after learning sign language from the age of 3.

“I had to learn sign language, though sometimes my mother would even scold me if I made mistakes or misunderstood her. This used to worry me a lot, but I’ve gotten used to it. Now I can interpret well,” she explained.

Marion often accompanies her mother to help interpret in public settings, ensuring her mother stays informed. Ndagano runs a shop in Fort Portal, where communication with customers can be challenging. However, in the evenings, when Marion returns from school, they work together, providing better service to customers.

 Leaders advice

Ms Beth Karugaba, a councilor representing Persons with Disabilities (PWDs) in Central Division, Fort Portal City, said PWD women, especially in relationships and societal acceptance face many challenges.

“It’s unfortunate that many women with disabilities struggle to find lasting relationships. Some men use them and leave them pregnant. Even those who marry them often feel ashamed to be seen with them in public,” she lamented.

Overcoming Stigma and Finding Hope

“When I was younger, I had a man who wanted to marry me. However, when he introduced me to his parents, his mother questioned why he would choose a one-eyed woman among all the others. She made it clear that she would not accept a blind daughter-in-law either. I lost him because of this,” She said.

Despite these challenges, Annet remains hopeful and actively advocates for disability rights. She said she supports others in similar situations to find their voices and fight for their rights.

“I am still single with no children. If I decide to marry, I might consider another person with a disability who understands these challenges,”